My wife Paula and I were able to give our testimony this last Friday night at our church. Our church does a once a month "3rd" Friday get together. They serve dinner and have special topics and speakers. Well since Valentines day was Thursday they did a special night on what the bible says about "love". They also had two couples, which we were one of, as speakers on how God entered our relationship and how He has changed it over the years. This message is really less about us and more about glorifying God in what He has done in our marriage. I hope this message blesses anyone who could be in our situation over 10 years ago. God has the power to heal any relationship. Here is our story.

Wes in black
Paula in Pink

How we met

We met at the Howard Johnson Hotel by Disneyland where we both worked. I remember first seeing Paula as this really cute, really energetic young lady and that has not changed in the least bit over the years. I remember asking my friend at the bell desk, who is that hot blonde! I believe she was about 18 or so when she came to work at the hotel.

What do you remember about first meeting me?

I love to answer this question because Wes and I have a long history together. We first met each other 19 years ago at a hotel across the street from the happiest place on earth...I worked at the front desk and Wes was a bellman. When I first saw Wes I was like WOW, he is ever so handsome! As we continued to work together, we got to know each other more and then became friends.

I was engaged to another girl and didn’t have any “eyes” for Paula although I thought she was really a great person. As I began to get to know her I really enjoyed her vibrant and sweet personality. I remember some of the really fun times we had at the hotel working together. But that was were it ended until my former fiance and I broke up 3 months before our wedding. It’s funny how you can look back and realize God was moving in ways that I had no understanding of so many years ago. Just for the record I want to make it clear that there was no funny business going on between Paula and I when I broke up with my fiance. We were just work friends and never saw each other outside of the hotel.

Over time we became closer friends. I had no intent of dating Paula at first. I had broken up with my fiance she had broken up with her boyfriend and I was just wanting to be alone for a period of time.

But we decided to go “out” on a date and I remember the first dinner we had was at the Crocodile Cafe in Brea.


Well, you’re right it was in Brea, but we had dinner at Hof’s Hut not the Crocodile Cafe....I always enjoyed working with Wes...he always had funny stories to tell, he offered great advice, he was kind, and he would just make me laugh all the time!

Four years later, as Wes and I were leaving work one Wednesday evening, he "out of blue" asked me what I was doing on Friday night. I told him I wasn't sure (even though I didn't have any plans whatsoever!) but I wanted to know why he was asking me. So, Wes said, "Do you want to go out to dinner on Friday night?" And I was sort of confused and asked him, "Are you asking me to go on like a date with you?" Wes said, "Yeah, I guess I am!" With my heart skipping a beat or two and butterflies in stomach, I whole-heartedly said, "I would love to!" So, on that Friday night in June of 1993, was just the beginning of a relationship to a wonderful man who I love more today than the day we got married!


We dated about 4 years before getting married. My family kept pressing me on getting married and told me I was getting “old” and Paula was a great catch. On the other side of the fence though my family was absolutely amazed that she could even stand dating me. Have to love the family. They think of me as annoying at times!

We were married on July 19th, 1997 and that is when the ride really began.


How God entered our relationship.


God entered our relationship in a miraculous way. It is the only way I can really explain it. Our first year of marriage was a complete disaster. I was a mess and the sad part was I didn’t even know it. The irony is that I blamed everything on Paula and it actually was all me.

I thought I had enough and was ready to throw the towel in. I had no idea what marriage was all about that is for sure. And to say I had the wrong attitude about love was an understatement. I remember going over to my parents house and telling them that I wanted to separate from Paula. I thank my mom and dad so much for telling me that I needed to go to counseling and not only counseling but to a Christian counselor.

I remember sitting in the counselors office telling him that I no longer wanted to be married with Paula sitting right next to me. I crushed her in so many ways that I probably will never completely understand. We continued the counseling for 3 months and nothing was really changing in my heart. It was stone cold for my wife.

Steve the counselor called me into a meeting with just me and him. I remember this like it was yesterday. He sat me down and looked me square in the eyes and said Wes you have two choices. You can go back to your former life doing what you want, being selfish and immature. Or GROW UP and get on your knees and ask for God to forgive you. That was it and he told me to leave. I was perplexed.

I went home and I was staying in my old room at my parents house and I got on my knees and called out to Jesus. I said to him I have no idea what I am doing and I am in a real mess. I told Him I don’t know Him and please reveal himself to me if He was real. I can’t say a lightening bolt struck me through the window but something just as amazing happened. Jesus broke my stone cold heart. I repented to Him and went and repented to Paula. Everything wrong in our relationship was my fault. It was all me and God opened my eyes to the truth.


We ended up going to church that next weekend and guess what passage Pastor John spoke about? It was Ephesians 5 Husbands love your wife like Christ loves the church. God spoke to my heart through Pastor John through His Word. My life has never been the same since those days. I became a new creation. I was finally ready to start being a husband to my wife.

Unfortunately God was not a part of our relationship until our marriage was truly suffering. When Wes and I were separated that was the most difficult time in my entire life. Thankfully God intervened by sending an awesome Christian counselor our way, and fortunately for us, God had a better plan.

After many, many months of counseling, both Wes and I finally realized what was missing in our marriage...and that was Jesus Christ. Wes and I started going to church on a regular basis, and I started to read my Bible. Most of what I read I already knew and believed-Jesus was God, the only Savior, and He died on the cross to pay the penalty for my sins. I had been taught these facts as a child, but I didn't really know God personally.

I was born and raised in a very strict Catholic home until the time I got married. Although I attended Catholic school for 12 years, went to church every week (not because I wanted to but out of fear of going to hell!), was involved in youth groups, I was still yearning for something more and that desire continued until that year after we were married. Although I wanted to know God so desperately and personally, I didn't know how. What I did know was that I wanted my life and marriage to glorify God.


As Wes mentioned before, when we started going to the other church where Pastor John was, he was just beginning a marriage series and was preaching from Genesis and Ephesians. It is clearly indescribable all that I learned during that time, but one thing I did know was God did not design our marriage for failure, instead he designed our marriage to be a completion of Wes and Paula but we had to follow His design or it was not going to work.

Soon afterwards one evening at church, I vividly remember asking God to forgive me of all my sins and allow me to follow Him as my Lord and Savior. It was then I became a Christian and submitted my life to Jesus and to my husband. Wes and I have finally found what we had been looking for...Jesus Christ is now the Lord of our lives.

How God changed our relationship


It is hard for me to even articulate how God starting working on us. It has definitely been a maturing process for the both of us. But honestly I finally realized that true Love is not only a feeling but a choice. I choose to love my wife. I love my wife with true love and that love has come through Christ. If Christ had not saved me I know where I would have ended up divorced and damned to spend an eternity in hell. But He saved me and has taught me so much about what love really means. It is all about sacrificing ones own desires and needs. I want to submit to my Lord and Savior and secondly to submit to my wife like Christ submitted to the Father. That is true and perfect Love. Oh how far I have to go.

There were a ton of sins that God started convicting us about. We had to make some drastic changes. God over the last 10 years has been purifying us, rebuking us, allowing us to go through trials and persecutions to mature us as husband and wife.

As Pastor Wes has taught before on the triangle of marriage we have learned that as we both put God first that we grow closer together. When we are living sold out for Christ and denying ourselves we are serving and honoring our Lord we are at the same time loving and honoring each other.


It has been a long journey for us already in a short 10 years. But I cant wait to see what He is going to do in the next 40 years. We have just begun and I have already seen God working so much through us both.


I want to end by telling you that my wife Paula is a saint among saints. She has kept her vow and loved me through it all. God used Paula to save me from an eternity separated from God. How much more can I love her for that alone and so much more that words cannot begin express? I love you Paula and I thank Jesus for you.